By JLP | September 21, 2006
I was reading through Dale Carnegie’s masterpiece How to Win Friends & Influence People and thought I would share with you his 6 Ways to Make People Like You:
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
I actually enjoy learning about other people. Nine times out of ten we usually have something in common, which is always exciting.
I know it sounds stupid, but have you ever had a person smile at you and it made your day? People get so bogged down with paying bills and worrying about life that it tends to show in their face. Maybe they would like someone to smile at them.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
I am absolutely HORRIBLE at remembering people’s names. There’s no excuse for it. Perhaps I should practice the advice in this post.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
I always thought I was a good listener but judging from what I just wrote for number 3, I have work to do. I will say that I am pretty good at getting people to talk about themselves, which goes hand-in-hand with point number 1.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Once again, if you are a good listener, you will learn the person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerly.
We all want to feel important. I know I do! From now on, I’m going to remember this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, who said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.”
Obviously you can’t MAKE a person like you. There will always be people out there who won’t like you no matter what you do. That’s not the point of the “6 Ways…” Rather, the point that Carnegie is trying to make is that IF you practice the six principles listed above, it will be A LOT HARDER for people to NOT like you.
One last thing to note:
NONE of this will mean anything if it’s done with the WIIFM attitude. If you aren’t familiar with WIIFM, it stands for WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME? If YOU are the motive, perhaps you need to change your attitude. As Zig Ziglar famously put it (I’m paraphrasing): “If you help enough people get what they want, you’ll eventually get what you want.” Now if I could only get my kids to understand that!