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Saying Goodbye to Dad
By JLP | March 3, 2008
I just wanted to let everyone know that my dad passed away early yesterday morning.
He had been suffering from cancer for a little over a year. He was experiencing problems last January (2007) and finally went into the hospital that February. His doctor thought he had an intestinal blockage but when she performed the surgery she found a couple of tumors in his colon. She thought she got everything and after the surgery dad healed up nicely and felt better than he felt in years. Unfortunately, late last summer he started feeling pains in his abdominal area. After tests were run in November they found that the cancer was back and had spread to other parts of his body.
He was able to make the trip to our house for Thanksgiving even though he wasn’t feeling well. After Thanksgiving his health continued to deteriorate and over the last couple of weeks got really bad. I think he knew the end was near. I didn’t realize how bad things were until I called him one day to ask him a question and could barely hear his voice on the phone. It was very sad.
Late last week my brother called me and told me that he thought I needed to come up to visit Dad. So, I got the car ready and headed up to Kansas on Saturday morning. I reached my parents’ house at 7 pm. I walked in to see my dad sitting on the couch. It was so sad to see how his sickness had sucked the life out of body. I fought back the tears for his benefit. It was extremely tough.
I left my mom and dad’s house to go stay at my brother’s house for the night. We were sitting there talking when my mom called to say that Dad had fallen and was bleeding. We took him to the emergency room. They told us that they needed to run some tests but they couldn’t do them until the morning. So we kissed him goodbye and got back home about 1:30 am. I went to bed about 2:30 am and about 3:30 am my mom woke me up to tell me that dad had just passed away. The nurse told my mom that Dad had asked for some pain reliever and before she (the nurse) could get it to him, he closed his eyes and passed away.
It’s tough to think that I won’t be able to see or talk to my dad again. We used to talk several times a week on the phone and had grown pretty close since he retired in 2002. Although I wanted him to be around another 20 years, I am thankful for the time we had. I NEVER thought I would be saying goodbye to him so soon. Both of his parents died when they were in their 80s so I just assumed that was how much time he would have. I was wrong.
He was a good man and I’ll miss him very much.
Please pray for my mom.
Topics: Miscellaneous | 107 Comments »
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:44 pm
My condolences to you and your family JLP.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:00 pm
You’re in our thoughts, and we are so sorry for your loss.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Your mom, along with you and the rest of your family are in my prayers.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:25 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. It actually made me emotional. Your story hits home with me, because my dad died 5 years ago on 2/25 also from cancer, at the age of 67, when I was finishing my senior year of college. I came up to visit him on a Sunday at the request of my family and he died a couple of days later.
My dad always said that after he was gone, I’d wish I could ask him questions. That sounded ridiculous to a teenager, but immediately after graduating college, when life hits the hardest and fastest, I could feel the void he left. The best I could do was remember what he taught and how he lived and apply it to the world around me.
I guess everything has to change. I’ll pray for you and your entire family.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:26 pm
My sincere condolences. We all need to value the time we have with our loved ones, no matter how busy we get. I know we don’t know each other, but I feel like I know you from reading. I will be praying for your mother. Take care.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Got me thinking about my own dad. My thoughts are with you and your family as well.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:32 pm
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Your family will be in my thoughts.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:34 pm
JLP, I’m so sorry for your loss. The way you wrote this is beautiful. It sounds like the time you had with your Dad was very special, and he must have been a great guy to inspire you to help so many people on this blog.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:35 pm
It’s crazy how seemingly fast things like that happen. It really makes you have a deep appreciation for how fragile life is. I’ve been in a similar situation in the past and it really has opened my eyes and made me realize that you never know when something like this may happen to a loved one (or yourself), so you have to live life to the fullest and let your loved ones know how you feel about them.
Your mom will be in my prayers. God bless.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:44 pm
I’m sorry for your loss of your dad, and will be thinking of you and your mom.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:48 pm
JLP – I’m so sorry to hear about your father. You and your family will be in my thoughts. Take care and don’t hesitate to let us know if we can do anything to help.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Thanks for being willing to share this. Hopefully it will help you in some small way.
My family’s thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.
March 4th, 2008 at 12:03 am
I am so sorry for your loss and pray that you find peace and strength in the lasting memories of the relationship you had with your father and in the lives of those he touched around you. I too lost my father to Cancer (Leukemia, in 2004 at the age of 59) and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him and/or seek his guidance and help with a particular situation. It’s at times like these that we’re reminded of and humbled by how unfair life can be. In spite of this, I believe strongly in the power of the human spirit to embrace the positive human qualities of those we have lost and to seize every day (Carpe Diem!) as if it were our last. All my best to you and your family during this difficult time.
March 4th, 2008 at 12:06 am
JLP, All of your family will be in my prayers. God Bless.
March 4th, 2008 at 12:49 am
JLP,
I’m so sorry. I wish the best to you and your family in this time of loss.
March 4th, 2008 at 12:52 am
JLP, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story with us – it means a lot.
March 4th, 2008 at 1:27 am
My deepest condolences.
I pray for God to give you strength in this hour of need. You and your family are in our thoughts.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:44 am
I am so sorry for you. My father-in-law just passed away two days after this Christmas, succumbing to the effects of multiple-sclerosis at the age of 54. It was so difficult for my wife, especially since she just found out her mom has Parkinson’s that same day. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
March 4th, 2008 at 5:05 am
I am sorry for your loss. Your family is in our prayers..
March 4th, 2008 at 6:18 am
I am sorry for your loss. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:25 am
Sorry about your loss, JLP. I’m sure all of our thoughts are with you and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:40 am
JLP, your father seems like he was a great man. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:52 am
I am sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
March 4th, 2008 at 7:08 am
very sorry to hear of your family’s loss. please accept my condolences.
March 4th, 2008 at 7:11 am
Prayers for you and yours.
March 4th, 2008 at 7:17 am
I’m sorry for your loss. You and your family have my best wishes.
March 4th, 2008 at 7:20 am
I am very sorry about your loss. I am praying for you.
March 4th, 2008 at 7:39 am
My condolences and best wishes to you and your family, and especially your mom. Thank you for sharing such a personal time with us.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:04 am
I’m so sorry. It hurts so much to lose someone you love. They will always be in your heart.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:17 am
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, JLP.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:32 am
Sorry for the loss and condolences to your family and mother. It is tough to see someone go through cancer – I had a family friend who within 6 months went from a picture of health to what you described. It is so sudden. Anyway, it was good that the last few years included some quality time.
Andy.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:34 am
You and your family are in my prayers…
March 4th, 2008 at 8:35 am
I hope your father had a very fulfilling life and that he was happy till the end.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:38 am
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Hopefully he won’t be suffering anymore. May you take this time to celebrate his life, and remember what a wonderful person your father was.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:47 am
So sorry to hear about your loss. Losing my father is one of my biggest fears. We will be praying for you and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Sorry to hear about the loss of your father. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:14 am
I’m a long time reader, never commented before. My prayers are with your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:36 am
My condolences to you and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Our prayers are with you and your family. May God give you the strength to get through this difficult time.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:43 am
I’m so sorry.
I know firsthand the shock of realizing that the 20+ more years you’d assumed (without even realizing you were assuming it) you’d have with your parents, to grow to know them as adults, for them to watch and be active participants in your children’s lives, just to talk to… that all of that can be lost in an unbelievably short time.
I’m glad you were able to be there with him that day, even if not for long – and that you had time to grow closer after his retirement.
I’ll be thinking of you and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:50 am
My condolences to you and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:51 am
JLP,
sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thanks for sharing.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:52 am
I’m so sorry, JLP. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. I’ll be praying for all of you.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:13 am
I’m so sorry for your and your family’s loss. Your family will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:45 am
this is very sad. Sorry for your loss.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:47 am
While we do not know each other, I am sorry for your loss and pray for your whole family. be well.
March 4th, 2008 at 11:26 am
sorry for your lost JP
March 4th, 2008 at 11:40 am
My deepest condolences for your and your family’s loss. Keep safe.
March 4th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
I found your post by accident while cruising the web during my lunch break and had to reply. I lost my dad in January, he would have been 88 this Saturday. I remember sending the announcement out to my friends that my dad had passed away and thinking that those were the hardest 4 words that I had ever had to write. I imagine that it was the same for you. I still feel waves of sadness at times- it is hard to think of him as gone, all we can do is move forward. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
March 4th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
I’m very sorry to hear this, JLP. My condolences and thoughts are with you and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I’m very sorry to hear that. My prayers are with you, your mom, and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Your post brought back the memory of my wife dying of colon cancer at the age of 42. That was 15 years ago, but the scars are still close to the surface. I’ll be thinking of you and your family, and praying for comfort and healing in your lives.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
You are in my thoughts. May your family be at peace during this time of loss.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I, too, was close to my father. He died 20 years ago. It doesn’t matter at what age it happens or how death might have been a blessing (my father had had a stroke six months prior to his death and did not take at all well to his limitations), one still feels orphaned. Take care, JLP.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
My deepest sympathies for you and your family, and know that my prayers are with you. Stand strong and be aware of all time you had together and the love that you all shared. Memories will live forever.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
My mother passed away on January 20th after fighting cancer for over a year. I am thankful that we were able to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years together. Cherish the time that you had with your Dad. You and your family will be in my prayers.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. =)
March 4th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Hey Man,
I have just said a prayer for you, your mom, and your family. I hope that in the difficult days ahead, you guys will have opportunities to share stories / thoughts / memories about your dad. I know that writing this post had to have been difficult – and I’m sure your dad would be very, very proud.
NCN
March 4th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
I am very sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to your and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Deepest sympathy for you and your family. Thoughts and prayers with you and yours.
N
March 4th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
JLP, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know (recently) what it means to lose someone that close. The next few months will be very difficult, especially because different people around you will react and grieve in very very different ways – ways that might sometimes create conflict and tension within families. The most important thing is to be patient (both with yourself and others) and try to take care of each other. Someone once said to me that “you never really get over a loss like this, and you never forget, but you do learn to adapt and live with it over time.” I have found that to be very true.
March 4th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
I am truly sorry to hear about your loss. Your entire family is in my prayers.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
I would like to offer my condolences as well. It sounds like he died with a lot of love around him.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
I’m sorry to hear about your dad’s passing. I will say a prayer for you and your family, God Bless.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
I lost my dad to cancer about 3 years ago, so I know this is a hard time for you and your family. I’ll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
March 4th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
I lost my dad to cancer this past January 5th also. I am really sorry for your loss.
March 4th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Sorry to hear about your loss. My dad also passed away 2 weeks ago from cancer. It’s hard to see them so weak because dad’s aren’t supposed to be that way. I comfort myself by remembering that he didn’t die a young man and that he made it through the journey. That’s about all any of us can ask for…..
March 4th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
JLP, I’m very sorry. Your family will be in my prayers.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
sorry
March 4th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I am sorry to hear about your loss. My deepest condolences to your family
March 4th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
I am very sorry to hear about your family’s loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Sorry to hear of your loss. You and yours are in my prayers.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
I am sorry for your loss, my prayers are with you and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
My condolences to you and your family.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Sorry to hear about your great loss. Your family will be in my prayers. I still remember my mother who passed away only a few years after her retirement. Nowadays, we assume that everyone will live for more than eighty years.
March 5th, 2008 at 8:07 am
My prayers and thoughts are with you, your mom, and your family. I’m so sorry for your loss.
March 5th, 2008 at 8:15 am
JLP:
So sorry to hear about your father. But it sounds like you had a great relationship with him. Your family will be in our prayers.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
so sorry for your loss..take care..
March 5th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
I am sorry for your loss!!!!
March 5th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Your post made me cry – my father has been on dialysis for nearly 7 years after an autoimmune disease caused kidney failure, and it’s been a pretty rough road. I am so sorry that you lost your dad, and I hope that you and your family are able to help each other get through this.
March 5th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
I’m so very sorry for your loss. It’s obvious from your post how understandably affected you are right now.
I hope you take comfort in knowing that the people you touch every day through your writing is a tribute to your father and mother. I have no doubt your father was and is very proud of you.
Please know that you, your mother and siblings are in my family’s thoughts and prayers.
Ron
March 5th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
I am sorry for your loss. Your family is in my thoughts.
March 5th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
No matter how old we get – it still hurts like hell when we lose our mom or dad! It’s hard – and I’m sorry for you having to feel the pain!
March 5th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
My condolences, you and your family will be in my prayers.
March 6th, 2008 at 5:17 am
My condolences to you and your family.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:00 am
Sorry for your loss.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Sad to hear the news, Keep ya head up JP and keep doin what your doin.You do a great job.I appreciate all the info on this site.Peace!
March 6th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I lost both my father and my father-in law within the last 6 months. It’s a really tough thing to lose your Dad. So sorry for your loss.
March 6th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
May God be with you and your family in these trying times.
March 6th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Asking God to wrap His arms around your family and give each one of you the kind of peace that only He can give — peace that passes all understanding.
Praying for you in Louisville, KY,
PRGal
March 6th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
My thoughts and prayers are with your family. So sorry for your loss.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:10 am
my condolences and prayers.
March 7th, 2008 at 5:43 am
Hi there
Just came across your blog – which looks excellent. Really sorry to hear about your Dad. It’s great that you had such a close relationship with him. All the best from Scotland.
March 7th, 2008 at 6:15 am
You and your mom are in our thoughts and prayers. Great work on this blog, by the way.
March 7th, 2008 at 9:19 am
I’m sorry for your loss…
March 7th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Just wanted to see what you wrote about dad…you did do a wonderful job and also at his funeral. He was very proud of you…who wouldn’t be….love you big brother…
March 7th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Thanks for sharing
“Enjoy yourself it’s later than you think”
March 7th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Thanks for allowing us to know about your loss. I lost my dad some years back. I can identify with you. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts.
March 7th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
So very sorry about your dad.
My own father and I weren’t very close, yet when he died unexpectedly at age 80 in 2002, it was extraordinarily painful.
Do take good care of yourself and don’t let people rush you into decisions (there will be a fair number of them)…or into premature “cheering up.”
March 8th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
My condolences, JLP.
March 8th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I am so very sorry for your loss . . . I can’t imagine what you are feeling right now. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.
March 8th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I’m so terribly sorry for your loss JLP. The same condition runs in my family and I know how it feels to be a cancer survivor… I’m praying for your mom and your family.
March 8th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
My heartfelt condolences. So very sorry to hear about this JLP. We haven’t corresponded for over a year and a half and just happened by this evening.
You, your family, and those close to you all will be in our thoughts.
Sincerely,
Brad
March 8th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad.
March 9th, 2008 at 12:03 am
Sorry to hear your loss.
March 10th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Heartfelt condolences. May he rest in peace.
September 24th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
they have given my father 6 months to live and it hurt so bad. I don’t want to let him go but I know Have no choice. I have not been the son I wanted to be. I have failed at so much. So much I wanted to do with him I never had the chance. I love my father so much. I don’t know how to say goodbye to him when the time come. I hope I can be half the man that he is. I still have a long way to go. I too worry about mom. how will she cope they been together all their lives how do you console that. I am the only son the one that need to be strong and I not sure how. thank you for your story. it help me realize that everyday with your parent is a gift. god watch over your family and mine