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How to Become the Kind of Person People Like
By JLP | March 21, 2008
This is some great advice I found in Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking and The Amazing Results of Positive Thinking
How to Become the Kind of Person People Like (from Norman Vincent Peale):
1. Start now to like other people. You do this by becoming a positive thinker. Once you love everybody, you become lovable.
We have all heard and probably passed on the phrase, “In order to have friends, you must first be a friend.” As tired as that sounds, it is absolutely true.
2. Always try to bring out the best in other people. Listen to their needs and then find ways to meet those needs.
I am VERY BAD with this one. It is my nature to be jealous of other’s successes. I’m not proud of it, but that’s the way I am. This is definitely something that I must focus on.
3. Make your friends feel comfortable with themselves.
I think I am good at this one. My sense of humor tends to put people at ease (it might also get on some people’s nerves! LOL!).
4. Be calm, poised and cheerful. Learn to rise above the irritations that life holds for us.
This is another one that I have to overcome. I have to temper my temper!
5. Be an upbeat personality so that people may receive inspirational support from you.
I bet we all know someone who has an upbeat, not fake, personality. They are a joy to be around. I’m sure we could all be the same way if we just gave it a shot.
Norman Vincent Peale’s advice is similar to the advice you’ll find in Dale Carnegie’s “Six Ways to Make People Like You” found in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
I actually try to make it a point to do this.
2. Smile.
I don’t know about you but I LOVE to be on the receiving end of a nice smile!
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any lanuage.
To this point, I’d like to add that it is imporant to call people by the name that they prefer. My name is Jeffrey and I prefer to be called Jeffrey but people ALWAYS shorten it to Jeff.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
This seems to go hand-in-hand with the first point. Again, I try to make an effort to do this. I can remember conversations I have had with people where they did almost all the talking. I figure if I can get the other person to talking, there’s less chance of me saying something stupid!
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
One way you can do this is to have broad interests yourself. Remember that people don’t like know-it-alls but it’s good to at least be able to carry on a conversation.
6. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.
“Sincerely” is the key word! I can’t stand people who come across as fake. These are usually the same people who are trying to get me to go to a stinkin’ Amway meeting or something like that. They aren’t sincere and it stands out like a sore thumb.
Overall I think this is some solid advice. I’m going to be writing more about these topics in the future because I am in the midst of trying to better myself. My dad’s death has made me realize that I NEED TO MAKE CHANGES in my life.
Topics: Personal Growth |
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:30 am
Its good advice. But if this doesn’t come naturally to you, I question the sincerity of someone trying to follow these guidelines.
I suppose if you need to make a good first impression its fine. We are all guilty of that. If you think you aren’t then you’ve never been to a job interview.
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:18 pm
The Weakonomist said:
“Its good advice. But if this doesn’t come naturally to you, I question the sincerity of someone trying to follow these guidelines.”
I disagree. I think that there are lots of people who would like to be nice but have never really thought about how to do it. Part of the problem is NOT being aware that there’s a problem. You make it sound as if people can’t make changes.
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Don’t discount us if it doesn’t come naturally. Just like everything else, important things take work. And, if it doesn’t come naturally, but I am trying to improve that means I am sincere !!!
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:02 pm
I’m no Norman Vincent Peale … yet I have found #4, listening, to be one of the non-monetary secrets that made me rich.
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:08 am
People must first be the person they want to meet. I think people have an influence on who they attract by how they treat people. I’m debt free and I am starting to have people ask me about saving for the future.
March 24th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I’m reminded of Dale Carnegie’s book: “How To Win Friends and Influence People.”
March 30th, 2008 at 1:54 am
Oh, I am sooo with you on the “calling people what they want to be called” issue. My name gets shortened to Pam a lot! Is it really that difficult to add in the extra syllable?