Comments on: Should Parents Bail Out Their Kids? http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/ A personal finance blog dedicated to discussing such topics as budgeting, asset allocation, 401K, IRA, cash flow, insurance, financial planning, portfolio management, and other areas in personal finance. Sat, 11 Feb 2012 20:32:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Kerri http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-456437 Kerri Fri, 25 Mar 2011 17:44:04 +0000 http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/#comment-456437 I can only hope and pray my daughter knows the value of a good dollar, at this point at three years old she collects the penny off the street and saves it, this is to her own doing and not mine, but i do comment to her to save her coins she finds. So with this said, i come from a family with money, the one thing speaking as one who grew up with silver spoons in the mouth, i can say is this: parents like my father always bailed my brothers out of big time problems such as speeding or DUI's ect, this isnt just a college thing this goes far beyond educational. it starts from a young age to, how willing are you to allow your toddler/ young child to be taught to clean up their own mess no matter how long it takes for them to do it? Most parents who have spoken with me on this topic say, "its easier for me to just gey the job done for them so i can focus on other things that need to be done." if parents took the time to teach them while they are young, and stick to the boundries in which they instill on younger children throughout their lives, you will have a well rounded individual who claims self responsability. My father never had to bail his daughters out, not out of anything major mind you. However my sister was given credit cards in college, and her entire tuition was paid for. I being the youngest never had the luxury to gain daddys credit cards for sole purpose of buying whatever i wanted. I think he learned the fast and hard way never give your children no matter what age, free range to buy on credit that isnt their own. my father surely meant well when he tried giving all four of us the things he never had growing up. However i can say i am very greatful for never having given the same priviledges my sister, or two brothers were given. I see now how its ruined their lives, they will never fully live their own lives without help. I am not saying i never asked for help, but seeing as a whole family unit, how its ruined others lives, encluding my fathers, just howe important it is to teach young, never teach with your emotions, because once you start teaching with your emotions, such as "I dont want my son going to jail over a speeding ticket he was to scared to tell me about, i need to bail him out before he goes to jail." once the emotions kick in to bail this individual out, they will ALWAYS expect the bailout, and if you dont continue to bail out, the individual then thinks " my mother, my father dont care." start early, teach them young, before it can even get to a situation that requires bail out. I can only hope and pray my daughter knows the value of a good dollar, at this point at three years old she collects the penny off the street and saves it, this is to her own doing and not mine, but i do comment to her to save her coins she finds.
So with this said, i come from a family with money, the one thing speaking as one who grew up with silver spoons in the mouth, i can say is this:
parents like my father always bailed my brothers out of big time problems such as speeding or DUI’s ect, this isnt just a college thing this goes far beyond educational.
it starts from a young age to, how willing are you to allow your toddler/ young child to be taught to clean up their own mess no matter how long it takes for them to do it?
Most parents who have spoken with me on this topic say, “its easier for me to just gey the job done for them so i can focus on other things that need to be done.” if parents took the time to teach them while they are young, and stick to the boundries in which they instill on younger children throughout their lives, you will have a well rounded individual who claims self responsability.
My father never had to bail his daughters out, not out of anything major mind you. However my sister was given credit cards in college, and her entire tuition was paid for.
I being the youngest never had the luxury to gain daddys credit cards for sole purpose of buying whatever i wanted.
I think he learned the fast and hard way never give your children no matter what age, free range to buy on credit that isnt their own.
my father surely meant well when he tried giving all four of us the things he never had growing up.
However i can say i am very greatful for never having given the same priviledges my sister, or two brothers were given.
I see now how its ruined their lives, they will never fully live their own lives without help.
I am not saying i never asked for help, but seeing as a whole family unit, how its ruined others lives, encluding my fathers, just howe important it is to teach young, never teach with your emotions, because once you start teaching with your emotions, such as “I dont want my son going to jail over a speeding ticket he was to scared to tell me about, i need to bail him out before he goes to jail.” once the emotions kick in to bail this individual out, they will ALWAYS expect the bailout, and if you dont continue to bail out, the individual then thinks ” my mother, my father dont care.”
start early, teach them young, before it can even get to a situation that requires bail out.

]]> By: stu http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-427839 stu Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:46:41 +0000 http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/#comment-427839 Hard to convince someone younger to "save for a rainy day" when they have never seen one. Still, emphasis on "saving" and conservative finances is the issue. Hard to convince someone younger to "save for a rainy day" when they have never seen one. Still, emphasis on "saving" and conservative finances is the issue.

]]> By: MetaMommy http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-314457 MetaMommy Sun, 25 May 2008 23:47:10 +0000 http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/#comment-314457 I know a lot of people my age (early 30s) and several years younger who are incredibly bad with money. What they have in common is parents who gripe and moan, but give in to their kids every time. Their kids are spoiled. As a result, they live at home, borrow money, borrow cars, and generally take advantage of their parents, but how can you blame them? It's what they know. Of course it's incredibly irresponsible, but what's worse is how unsuccessful I find these people in all other aspects of their lives. How can they have a successful career or any good relationships if they don't know how to compromise? 60 Minutes did a piece on the <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/11/08/60minutes/main3475200.shtml" rel="nofollow">Boomerang Generation</a> which was enlightening, if depressing. I know a lot of people my age (early 30s) and several years younger who are incredibly bad with money. What they have in common is parents who gripe and moan, but give in to their kids every time. Their kids are spoiled. As a result, they live at home, borrow money, borrow cars, and generally take advantage of their parents, but how can you blame them? It’s what they know.

Of course it’s incredibly irresponsible, but what’s worse is how unsuccessful I find these people in all other aspects of their lives. How can they have a successful career or any good relationships if they don’t know how to compromise? 60 Minutes did a piece on the Boomerang Generation which was enlightening, if depressing.

]]> By: Sylverfeind http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-299533 Sylverfeind Wed, 30 Apr 2008 19:13:28 +0000 http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/#comment-299533 I agree and disagree with a lot of what everyone has said. I personally have been bailed out of a very bad situation by my parents. I was engaged. My fiancee and I bought a house together and then she disappeared. We could afford the house easily together. But I could not afford it alone... Since then I have found some good roommates to help me out until I can finish school and afford it on my own. I am also working three jobs to pay my parents back as well... I do agree that a large portion of my generation needs to wake up. I just do not like generalization of anyone people. Some of us did not get into these situations through irresponsible behavior, some just have bad luck... I also agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY with Jason. I have enough to deal with simply being as young as I am. But to try and tell everyone the reason we are tripping and falling on our faces is our fault?! With the economic situation the way it is at the moment, how are we supposed to succeed. We have very little part in that disaster. In order to find a decent paying job in my area I have to travel at least 30 miles from home. And that is almost not worth it now because of the gas prices... Some of us are trying our damnedest, but its not all as easy as it is portrayed. It is NOT easy to find a job now. I have been looking around. And my father just keeps telling me to get off my butt and go look. I have applied at McDonald's, walmart... All the tourism driven places in my area and NO ONE is hiring... People are not vacationing like they used to in the past. People are choosing to eat in instead of paying 4 bucks for a hamburger, when they could just save that for gas.... OK I'm done... I agree and disagree with a lot of what everyone has said. I personally have been bailed out of a very bad situation by my parents. I was engaged. My fiancee and I bought a house together and then she disappeared. We could afford the house easily together. But I could not afford it alone… Since then I have found some good roommates to help me out until I can finish school and afford it on my own. I am also working three jobs to pay my parents back as well…

I do agree that a large portion of my generation needs to wake up. I just do not like generalization of anyone people.

Some of us did not get into these situations through irresponsible behavior, some just have bad luck… I also agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY with Jason. I have enough to deal with simply being as young as I am. But to try and tell everyone the reason we are tripping and falling on our faces is our fault?! With the economic situation the way it is at the moment, how are we supposed to succeed. We have very little part in that disaster. In order to find a decent paying job in my area I have to travel at least 30 miles from home. And that is almost not worth it now because of the gas prices…

Some of us are trying our damnedest, but its not all as easy as it is portrayed. It is NOT easy to find a job now. I have been looking around. And my father just keeps telling me to get off my butt and go look. I have applied at McDonald’s, walmart… All the tourism driven places in my area and NO ONE is hiring… People are not vacationing like they used to in the past. People are choosing to eat in instead of paying 4 bucks for a hamburger, when they could just save that for gas….

OK I’m done…

]]> By: guinness416 http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-298895 guinness416 Wed, 30 Apr 2008 04:08:54 +0000 http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/#comment-298895 If "today's kids" think they deserve everything it's because "today's parents" have raised them to believe it. If “today’s kids” think they deserve everything it’s because “today’s parents” have raised them to believe it.

]]> By: YeaYuh http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-298528 YeaYuh Tue, 29 Apr 2008 17:06:01 +0000 http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/#comment-298528 My parents helped out my younger sister. But they put up a whole bunch of conditions that she has to follow. Parents have her debt cards until she can demonstrate better control. Have made her withdraw money from the bank in order to pay for things. My parents helped out my younger sister. But they put up a whole bunch of conditions that she has to follow.

Parents have her debt cards until she can demonstrate better control. Have made her withdraw money from the bank in order to pay for things.

]]> By: Jason http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-298096 Jason Tue, 29 Apr 2008 00:58:45 +0000 http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/#comment-298096 My $27,000 in student loan debt is a lot different from the tens of thousands of dollars some people in the preceding generation have on credit cards. No one ever told me that it wouldn't be worth the debt. All I ever heard from adults was, "The Bachelor's degree is the new diploma." I get this all the time from my older coworkers, and it never fails to infuriate me. We are inheriting an SUV-toxic, subprime-mortgage, outsourced economy and you have the nerve to say that WE have a sense of entitlement? What greed, irresponsibility, and lack of foresight got us here? We'll see who feels entitled when my generation is shouldering this debt (both public and private) while the preceding generations try to figure out what to do with the decades of retirement that they think they'll be able to relax through. We're walking out onto the platform as the train wreck is happening and you turn around and blame us. My $27,000 in student loan debt is a lot different from the tens of thousands of dollars some people in the preceding generation have on credit cards. No one ever told me that it wouldn’t be worth the debt. All I ever heard from adults was, “The Bachelor’s degree is the new diploma.”

I get this all the time from my older coworkers, and it never fails to infuriate me. We are inheriting an SUV-toxic, subprime-mortgage, outsourced economy and you have the nerve to say that WE have a sense of entitlement? What greed, irresponsibility, and lack of foresight got us here? We’ll see who feels entitled when my generation is shouldering this debt (both public and private) while the preceding generations try to figure out what to do with the decades of retirement that they think they’ll be able to relax through.

We’re walking out onto the platform as the train wreck is happening and you turn around and blame us.

]]> By: Independent George http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-298029 Independent George Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:05:39 +0000 http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/#comment-298029 Let's no forget that not all student loans are created equal. A $50k loan for a BS in engineering is a lot different than a $25k loan for an MFA in cinema studies; the problem is the people in the latter situation feel entitled to the same income as someone in the former. Let’s no forget that not all student loans are created equal. A $50k loan for a BS in engineering is a lot different than a $25k loan for an MFA in cinema studies; the problem is the people in the latter situation feel entitled to the same income as someone in the former.

]]> By: Independent George http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-298027 Independent George Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:00:33 +0000 http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/#comment-298027 Let's no forget that student loans are not created equal. A $50k loan for a BS in engineering is a lot different than a $25k loan for an MFA in cinema studies; the problem is the people in the latter situation feel entitled to the same income as someone in the former. Let’s no forget that student loans are not created equal. A $50k loan for a BS in engineering is a lot different than a $25k loan for an MFA in cinema studies; the problem is the people in the latter situation feel entitled to the same income as someone in the former.

]]> By: Lily http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-298023 Lily Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:33:11 +0000 http://allfinancialmatters.com/2008/04/28/should-parents-bail-out-their-kids/#comment-298023 I'm 23, and my parents haven't helped me with any expenses since college (during which I picked up the tab for some of the tuition and all of food, textbooks, and other supplies). None of my friends depend on their parents, either - but I guess that's because I couldn't afford to hang out with the crowd whose escapades were financed by trust funds and doting parents. I think every generation of college grads has a small percentage of self-reliant, responsible young adults, and a small percentage of people who need extensive support ("bail-out") from parents. Everyone else falls in between. Still, you might be right about the sense of entitlement that today's young adults have. I don't think it's necessarily their fault. My generation grew up with the message that we can be whatever we want to be, that we should find ourselves and do something rewarding and satisfying, money be damned. And our parents (Boomers) had the means and the New Agey desire to support our self-discovery. Some of us still turned out okay. :) I’m 23, and my parents haven’t helped me with any expenses since college (during which I picked up the tab for some of the tuition and all of food, textbooks, and other supplies). None of my friends depend on their parents, either – but I guess that’s because I couldn’t afford to hang out with the crowd whose escapades were financed by trust funds and doting parents.

I think every generation of college grads has a small percentage of self-reliant, responsible young adults, and a small percentage of people who need extensive support (“bail-out”) from parents. Everyone else falls in between.

Still, you might be right about the sense of entitlement that today’s young adults have. I don’t think it’s necessarily their fault. My generation grew up with the message that we can be whatever we want to be, that we should find ourselves and do something rewarding and satisfying, money be damned. And our parents (Boomers) had the means and the New Agey desire to support our self-discovery.

Some of us still turned out okay. :)

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