When I got divorced, I was receiving food stamps, my kids were getting medicaid, my daughter was in HeadStart, we lived in a cr@ppy two bedroom apartment, I had a 1977 bomb of a car and no $$.

Now, we are not rich by any means, but after going back to college (got a Pell grant), got my current job (have been here for 11 years), bought a house (9 years ago), have almost $100K in a retirement account, am working on fully funding my e-fund, have a paid for decent car, am on no public assistance whatsoever (haven’t been for many years), and we took a vacation to Maui last year.

So you can do it. It ain’t always easy, but you can do it!

My children are now, 18, 17 and 14 (well almost 15).

Here is my story…

My exhusband was an abusive alcoholic. He never asked for any share of custody. I had, and still have very FULL custody of our three children.

Do you best to ASK for and enforce child support.

Children have alot of expenses over the years.

Do not have so much pride (you don’t need money from HIM, you can make it on your OWN, etc etc)
that you won’t pursue child support.

Your child(ren) deserves to be supported by BOTH of their parents.

Get any assistance out there that is available to you and your children.

I can’t name the numerous amount of people that have helped out me and my kids over the years.

Here are a few ideas:
Childcare is very expensive. Consider requesting scholarships/paying on a sliding scale/getting government subsidies for paying for it.

The Boys and Girls club and the YMCA in my area have childcare on a sliding scale.

Many summer camps also have camperships for older kids, as well as you do fundraising for them, and your kid gets to go to camp for free, or very little $.

Work out a budget …and save something…I used to save only $25 per month…but something is better than nothing.

Need a break from the kids, exchange babysitting…one Friday evening,with another single Moms kids, and vice versa.

If your family wants to help you out, let them.

When the time rolls around look into programs for first time homebuyers. I really thought we would always be living in a dumpy two bedroom apt. I own a modest home–bought it 9 years ago. It is POSSIBLE. Take a class on first time home buying.

If you can, don’t go grocery shopping with your kids. You’ll be cranky, they will be cranky, and you’ll overspend.

Use the library for free resournces, as well as dvd rentals.

Shop at yard sales for your younger children. They won’t know the difference, and when they are young, they don’t wear out their clothes since they change sizes so frequently.

Breathe. Take it one day at a time. Take it one hour at a time when you need to. Concentrate on one thing at a time. You can’t do anything well, if your mind is not on the subject at hand.

Good luck. You will preserve and your kids will too.

Next, talk about banking. Explore the use of free checking. Discuss the downside of check-cashing places and payday loans.

I don’t think these people should even consider credit until they can control their spending

But I would concentrate on daily budgeting, saving on food–including using coupons, and cutting back on utility expenses.

And I’ll think about mentioning how to deal with struggling family members – how it’s important to distinguish “helping” from “enabling.” That IS a toughie, though, to be sure.

Remembering annual expenses is a great point, too, and asking them what they want to know (and leaving plenty of time for Q&A) will probably be the best thing.

I’ll let you all know how it turns out!

Even though the circumstances of their lives may be difficult you can’t stress enough the importance of a positive attitude as they embark on making changes in their lives. Every change they make that sticks shifts them into a new place and it’s in that place that they can make more positive changes. It’s incremental and iterative.

Another thought is to try to find a person of trust to whom they can go when they need help or advice.

I would try to turn around their challenges into a positive. Have them look at their situation as walls put in front of them to knock down because once they do it will get easier and easier.

If they do not have internet access encourage them to be creative to find it. Their library, a friend or relative’s home. They can do it!

This go getter attitude is not only great for them, but for their children who will see mom excel with all of these forces against her.

Good luck. What a great program.