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Abercrombie…
By JLP | November 24, 2008
At this very moment I’m standing in an Abercrombie store waiting for my oldest son to pick out some jeans. You know, I could handle their prices if I didn’t feel like I was buying garage sale crap!
More thoughts later…
FYI – my son is putting some of his own money towards the purchase.
UPDATE: I would have typed all this earlier but it’s too hard to type with my thumbs on a BlackBerry.
Anyway, here’s the deal we have with our boys: We’ll pay up to the price of a decent brand of jeans (say, Levis, which are $22 a pair) and if they want something more expensive, they can pay the rest.
My oldest son (he’s 13) was looking at Jeans in Abercrombie and he told his brother that he should look too. My youngest son said, “I’m not paying that much for jeans! I’ll take Levis.”
I smiled inside.
We ended up buying a pair of decent-looking Abercrombie jeans for around $55. My oldest son will have to chip in over $30 for those jeans. It’s his money and he’ll have to figure out for himself whether or not it was a wise purchase.
Life would be so much easier if kids didn’t care what other kids thought about them. But, that’s just not the reality.
There will be some of you who don’t agree with the way my wife and I handle these situations. That’s fine. I understand.
Topics: Kids and Money, Miscellaneous | 29 Comments »
November 24th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
If it makes you feel any better, the men’s clothes are fairly high quality, especially compared to the women’s clothes there. I worked there for two years, and I will never shop there again, you have my sympathies.
November 24th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Yeah, today’s “fashions” and, I use that term loosely, make me glad I don’t have a teen. It’s like the 70s all over again – don’t shave, don’t cut your hair, wear funny looking, dirty clothes. But I look back at some of my high school pictures and I laugh and say “What was I thinking?” Not a bad idea to make him pay for some of his own purchases – if you keep that up, he’ll start to pass by A&F and settle for the department store.
November 24th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
And you are letting this happen why? Just because he has his own money? When he is old enough to drive himself to stores just to buy overpriced brands, maybe, but not now.
November 24th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Haha… tearing holes and splattering paint on clothing is very labor intensive…
You can get the same styles at American Eagle for half the price.
November 24th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Mr. ToughMoney,
Do you have kids? If so, how old are they?
We pay our kids an allowance and allow them to spend it on the things they like, which most likely is not the same things I like. There are certain clothes I would not allow them to wear but this stuff is harmless—even though I think it looks silly.
November 24th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
JLP – We have three boys. Youngest is now 19. I know what you are going through. I distinctly remember forcing my 14 year old son to return something that he bought with his own money because the purchase made no sense. He later understood why. Sometimes you just have to substitute your judgment for theirs, depending on their age and maturity level. Buying overpriced brands can become a consumerism habit that can be hard to break. I know from reading your blog that you are sensitive to it in adults. How do you think they got that way?
November 24th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Sounds like a good system to me. They need to learn to make their own decisions and live with them. If it’s worth it to him, great. If not, he’ll eventually learn.
P.S. Don’t mind Mr. ToughMoney. That’s just his schtick.
November 24th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Nickel,
Yeah, I can see him yelling at his kid right there in the store…haha! I’m only kidding!
November 24th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Where can you find Levis for $22? I just got some at Sears for 32.
November 24th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Matt,
They’re kid’s jeans.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
I think it’s a pretty wise decision. As long as you’re firm when they come back asking for more money later in the week! =) Let them fail in SAFE ways now so they learn the consequences. The only thing I would require (and we do in very small ways with our little ones) is that they first GIVE a portion of their money (maybe…10%?), and then SAVE a portion of it, before they can spend any of it.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
I like your approach. I’m several years away from having to face such conundrums (thank goodness
but I’m definitely noting all your tips for raising boys!
November 24th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Lindsay,
Oh, we make sure they tithe.
November 25th, 2008 at 3:20 am
Way to reinforce consumerism. You should be convincing him that brands don’t matter. Quality yes, but names, no.
Your younger son sounds like he understands.
Things don’t matter or have meaning, people and experiences do. (although most people and companies want to give their products meaning)
Oh well, people will be realize this soon enough, even if it is forced instead of voluntary because of worsening economic times.
November 25th, 2008 at 6:09 am
Zach wrote:
“Way to reinforce consumerism.”
Oh, don’t think for a minute that I didn’t question my son’s desire for the Abercrombie brand. But, in my opinion, this is something he has to figure out for himself. I didn’t reinforce anything.
November 25th, 2008 at 7:50 am
I just had to comment on the line “Life would be so much easier if kids didn’t care what other kids thought about them.”
As if this is limited to kids! Life in general would be easier if we all spent less time worrying about the opinions of others when it came to appearances and possessions. Then adults wouldn’t need to worry about designer clothes, fancy cars and big houses they can’t afford. We could dispense with some of this consumerist one-up-manship.
I think JLP’s approach is a smart one. Teens struggle to find their own way (that’s what being a teen is all about). Let them discover the path and they’re more likely to stick to it than if you drag them along.
November 25th, 2008 at 10:08 am
JLP – You are half right, half wrong. You voted for consumerism by agreeing to pay 1/2 of the cost of the jeans. I would have told him that I will buy him Levi or Old Navy jeans (if he needed a pair) but if he wanted to get upsold into an expensive brand, its all on him. Yeah – that’s my schtick but I’m schticking to it.
November 25th, 2008 at 10:31 am
JLP – Bravo! What a cool way to educate young people about money! Long time reader, first time poster! I’ve read articles you’ve written before about allowing your children to use their own allowance before, and I’ve wanted to post, but never did. this time however, I want to be supportive against all the people that think this is a bad idea! I love it good for you! Excellent parenting on the part of you and your wife! Saving/spending/earning is all about educating ones self and making decisions that force you to learn about the right and the wrong. I don’t have children, but I think your doing an excellent job!
November 25th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Mr. ToughMoney,
Here’s where I’m coming from:
If I don’t allow my kids to make mistakes with their money, there’s no guarantee that they will be any more responsible as adults. Besides, if I tell them everything they can and cannot spend their money on, how do I know that they won’t lash out later in life?
I’m trying to take a rational approach to all this. We require our boys to tithe and save 25% of their money. They understand that if there is something they want to buy, they have to budget for it. If they want a Playstation but go and spend $30 on a pair of jeans, they will realize that it will take that much longer to reach their goal.
November 25th, 2008 at 10:52 am
How can you stand to even be in Abercrombie? I can’t think, it is tooo LOUD in there. Thats what they do, scatter your brains so you can’t think and you just want to get out so you buy more.
Knowing the boys I would have to say it is personality that also lends itself to thier purchases, not consumerism being enforced or approved of by JLP. They are very close in age and have been raised in the same manner but make different choices like all people. JLP is consistent in his instruction and guidance though, always.
Have a great Thanksgiving, we will be thinking of you all!!!!
V
November 25th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Every time I walk by Abercrombie I feel like running in the store, ripping my shirt off, and start wrestling other shirtless guys.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Jeremy,
You make me want to pluck out my mind’s eye!
November 25th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Brilliant move JLP. I love the concept of a “base” that you’ll support and leave the remaining money for discretionary purposes. It’s a safe way to demonstrate value to your children and I imagine it will be easier in the future for them to identify value on more important items.
November 25th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
JLP – You make excellent points but here is the flaw that I see in your approach: How and when will your son learn that being upsold by marketing into an expensive brand is a “mistake”? The way he might learn that is by you showing disapproval. The way you show disapproval is by calmly not funding any of his mistake. ‘Nuf said by me on this. Happy Thanksgiving.
November 25th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Mr. ToughMoney,
I think he has to figure that out for himself. He’s a smart kid, he’ll figure it out on his own. I just want to be sure that he learns NOT TO CHARGE such purchases. To me, that’s more important than WHAT he buys. If he learns to live within his means, I’ll be happy.
Besides, I can talk ’till I’m blue in the face about how silly his purchase is, but do you think that will do any good? As long as he’s not wearing disgusting clothing, I’m okay with it even though it may not be to my liking.
November 25th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
@ Jeremy and JLP, guess I now know where to shop when DH is out of town
November 25th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Great idea — I never thought of that.
November 27th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
It’s not really a bad idea, considering your youngest has gotten your message about the relative worth of jeans. And it probably helps that he is both younger and learning from watching his older brother as well. Kids will absorb the same exact same lesson in wildly different ways, and I think that it’s rational that you teach him moderation through moderate parenting tactics. Strongarming a kid into following all of your rules may very well backfire; if he’s determined to get those “designer” jeans (and I agree that AF is terrible quality) then he’ll find a way to get them. Perhaps it’ll inspire him to work the sales, as even those stores manage to have sales that are occasionally much cheaper than offbrand clothing. I’ll admit to picking up the odd basic item of clothing at a similar store because their clearance sales had them priced lower than any other comparable pieces.
November 28th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
I’m loving this discussion. It’s very insightful as we prepare to enter into many of these issues ourselves.
I have already told my oldest son (7) that there are some things I WILL NOT buy for him (Pokemon et al, for example), but he is free to purchase them with his own money. I don’t think the lesson really comes home when they are spending it on the thing that (we think) is silly. It’s later, when they don’t have enough money for a DIFFERENT silly purchase that they begin to think these things through and learn the value of the dollar. In my opinion, the only way they will ever learn that is to feel the pang of not having the money for something you want.