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Humor: Great Money Quote From Shaquille O’Neal’s Book

By JLP | September 21, 2012

AFM reader, Anna, posted a link to this quote from Shaquille O’Neal’s book Shaq Uncut: My Story* yesterday in a comment. I thought it was worth sharing because it made me laugh:

NOTE: “Lester” is Shaq’s accountant.

One of the things I invested in when I first got to Orlando was some coin-operated car washes. We were doing really well, making a lot of money, but one day Lester called me up and told me the numbers weren’t matching up. The profits we should have had were not the same numbers that were being deposited in the bank.

“Don’t worry, Lester,” I told him, but he was freaking out about it. He even flew to Orlando to discuss it with me. He calculated we were missing almost a quarter million dollars.

It took me awhile, but I finally came clean with him, I showed Lester my bedroom, where there was a whole bunch of wooden rain barrels full of quarters.

Lester said, “Shaquille, what the hell is this? Is this the missing money?”

“Yes”, I admitted. “Lester, I can’t help it. I like seeing my money. Come here, run your fingers through all these quarters. It’s awesome.”

Love it.

*Affiliate link

Topics: Books, Humor, Quote of the Day | 4 Comments »

4 Responses to “Humor: Great Money Quote From Shaquille O’Neal’s Book”

  1. BG Says:
    September 21st, 2012 at 7:48 am

    Thats pretty funny, especially his guilty admission to his accountant. Wonder how long it took him to fill a whole bunch of rain barrels up (they are huge).

  2. Adam Says:
    September 21st, 2012 at 8:49 am

    It’s Scrooge McDuck envy… granted it would hurt to swim in it.

  3. Stacey Says:
    September 21st, 2012 at 10:13 am

    Small chance at a loss of theft…You’d hear them leaving :)

  4. Miguel Says:
    September 22nd, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    Wonder if he came clean with the IRA too.