Divorce can wreak havoc on your finances. So can bankruptcy. But when a bankruptcy and divorce happen simultaneously, the resulting fiasco can seem like an insurmountable obstacle to overcome.
First, take comfort in knowing you are not alone. Hundreds of thousands of women go through this turmoil every year. That being said, it will take some planning, hard work, and patience to get your financial house back in order. Depending on the exact terms of your divorce and whether you received protection under Chapter 7 or Chapter 13 bankruptcy, you may be starting over with a clean slate or you may still be under court supervision for your debts. For the purposes of this post, we will assume that the divorce decree is final and you have received a full discharge from the bankruptcy court.
Let go of the past.
True, youâ€™ve just gone through an emotional and financial shock. Your first impulse may be to sit on the sofa and lament the evils of the world around you, eat tremendous amounts of chocolate, or go enjoy a little retail therapy. Or you might want to engage in all three. You must resist these temptations. Now is the time to pull yourself together. There is life after bankruptcy. There is life after divorce. But you wonâ€™t find that life if you continue to wallow in the mistakes of the past. Let it go. Forgive yourself and move on.
Create a realistic budget and stick with it!
Take a cold hard look at your current financial status. This might not be a pretty picture. Thatâ€™s okay. Honesty is the most important part of this exercise. List all your sources of income and expenses. Ideally, you should have more coming in than going out. If not, make some changes. Cut out unnecessary expenses, at least until you can fully regain your financial footing. Once you have a workable budget, stick with it. It may be tough, but it will pay off in the long run.
Pay your bills on time.
One of the easiest ways to reestablish credit is to pay the bills you have on time. This will show potential creditors that you are sincere in your efforts to rebuild your credit. They will be more likely to lend to you in the future.
Apply for a new credit card.
It may sound counterintuitive especially if credit cards were part of the problem to begin with, but you need to apply for a new card. Credit cards offer you the opportunity to show you can handle credit even if youâ€™ve had some trouble in the past. The initial limit will be very small, usually between $300 and $500. This will keep you from getting in over your head. Once you have established a good pattern of responsible use, you can have the credit line raised. Only charge what you can comfortably payoff each month. Consider purchasing one or two tanks of gas a month, then leave the card at home until that amount is paid off.
If you have a hard time saying no to that dress on sale, try going on a cash diet. This simple principle will prevent you from overspending. Each week, you withdraw a specific amount of cash from your bank account. Leave all cards at home and only take the cash you have on hand. Thatâ€™s what you can spend for the week. If you donâ€™t have it, you canâ€™t overspend. Itâ€™s that simple.
Russ Thornton specializes in providing financial advice to affluent women.
It was an ongoing conversation between a mom and adult daughter and me (in the middle). Moving slowly to what I call the â€œlegacy awareness,â€ stage where we begin to explore momâ€™s legacy, a loving daughterâ€™s inheritance expectations (or lack of) and possible living benefits (my carefully-chosen words for gifting valuables) for both.
The dialogue flowed innocent enough, until one simple, direct question left my lips:
â€œCarol, if mom dies what would you do with the house?â€
I do these things on purpose. It got real quiet. Then.
Carol: â€œWell, I donâ€™t want that!â€
Mom: â€œItâ€™s a great house; it was our house, mine and your fatherâ€™s. You lived there too didnâ€™t you like it?â€
Carol: â€œOf course, but I have my own place, and all that ____,â€ I mean stuff.â€ But the word had slipped out. The â€œJâ€ word.
Junk? Thatâ€™s not junk. Itâ€™s my entire life!!
Most likely that 3,000 square-foot albatross with shingles is not a cherished heirloom in the eyes of your kids. In fact, they would prefer you deal with the house and its contents as soon as possible â€“ I mean while youâ€™re alive and well enough to handle daunting tasks that come with downsizing into a more humble abode.
Want to see the kids reduce to the behavior of a two-year old, flailing arms and legs tantrum style? Die and leave them to deal with your dwelling and its dusty contents.
Deep attachment to a house is understandable – plenty of wonderful moments were created within those walls; most likely youâ€™ve accumulated plenty of items through the decades and havenâ€™t parted with much in a very long time.
Parents are still storing their parentâ€™s stuff too. Thereâ€™s multigenerational hoarding going on everywhere. And I donâ€™t see many families doing anything about this affliction.
Frankly, many retirees would rather stay put; moving is stressful. I donâ€™t care how old you are. Itâ€™s less trouble to remain in a place thatâ€™s outgrown you and choose to live in what I call â€œthe house within the house,â€ which usually is reduced to two rooms and a bath.
To make it worse, it feels wrong to upset contents that have settled deep into memories. It feels right to leave everything as is – let the next generation handle it. But do they truly want to?
Your kids are busy with their kids, careers, and still coping with the financial distress that comes with a mediocre economic recovery. A majority of households are dealing with too much debt, skyrocketing college costs, underemployment, and now this? Do the kids want an inheritance? Sure. Do they want the house? No.
As we age, memories start to weigh a hell of a lot more than brass antiques or hardly used bedroom suites. An elderly widow was ashamed to tell me she hadnâ€™t used her fireplace since 1987 – the year her husband passed away in a chair in front of it. The old lounger hadnâ€™t been utilized either except recently by Tiger her new tabby cat.
In 1993, my father passed away in his home. Nineteen years later, I still find myself using Google Maps to cyber-visit the location to see how itâ€™s changed and praying nothing hadnâ€™t. I was the kid who wanted desperately to hold on to the house. I was so afraid Iâ€™d forget or disrespect his memory if it didnâ€™t stay in the family. It was a sacred place to me. A real-life example of how housing can get messy. Unlike other purchases, a house gets deeply imbedded in the threads of our emotions.
A close friend said holding on to the death house was â€œcreepy,â€ and my thinking macabre. Why? After all, he was my dad. I found nothing weird about the situation. In fact, wasnâ€™t it actually normal to feel this way? Eventually, I did drop the idea. When my head cleared, I realized it wasnâ€™t bricks and stucco I was after. I longed for flesh and blood (dad) back.
Currently, retirees are ravaged by the Federal Reserveâ€™s ongoing decision to transform safe money into dead money by cementing short-term interest rates at zero and artificially suppressing intermediate-term yields. The result is a dismal level of income generated (after inflation/taxes many yields are negative) and little hope for a respectable income from high-quality bond investments. Those in the â€œgolden yearsâ€ are ravaged by austerity even though they will ostensibly live more years than their parents and should be more active doing it too. Oh the joy of longevity.
Since low (no) rates on money markets, certificates of deposit, savings accounts and corporate and government bonds will be around for a longer period than any of us originally anticipated, (thus the word cementing) retirees must think creatively about the utilization of additional resources available to them like the house.
I know this may sound taboo, but desperate times call for some â€œout of the box,â€ thinking – Why not consider squeezing your greatest illiquid asset? Iâ€™m referring to â€“ you know: The albatross with the bay windows. If you play your cards right, the house your kids donâ€™t want can be a boost to retirement cash flow. Would this be so wrong to consider if done responsibly?
When consulting with pre and current retirees about income planning, I notice how reluctant they are to consider the house as a future source of cash flow. Iâ€™m always the one who initiates the idea. And the faces I get when I do! The topic is horribly taboo. Why? My job is, at the right moment, to bring up sensitive topics. Part of what I do is to place myself in less-than-desirable circumstances as a first step to awareness.
Admittedly itâ€™s an uncomfortable conversation in the beginning, however when you consider how tough (impossible) it is to earn interest on conservative investments and how challenging it is to save for retirement, strategically utilizing home equity may be the only choice available for those looking to eke out some sort of comfortable existence in retirement.
Those close to retirement are afraid of misusing home equity. Weâ€™ve all read about or knew homeowners who considered their houses as never-ending money fountains splashing cash for new televisions, cars or expensive vacations. Even seniors or retirees willing to investigate the option of utilizing home equity have been reluctant due to declining or stagnant house values and the unattractive fees associated with reverse mortgage products.
Retirees appear to be more receptive to home equity extraction later in life, especially for long-term care expenses, when instead they could mindfully draw from equity along with other income sources starting earlier and thereby enjoy a more fulfilling lifestyle.
Instead, many have resorted to re-entering the work force (if 55 or older, it appears youâ€™re working more years than originally anticipated, too) and remaining vigilant about cutting household expenses. But how much cost cutting can you do before you need to hit the big stuff?
I call seriously considering the big stuff â€œCode Red Moments.â€ â€œAnd they ainâ€™t fun,â€ as Iâ€™ve been told repeatedly. Let me be clear: Code Red is and never will be â€œfun.â€ These moments are accompanied by the stark realization that drastic measures must be taken to survive financially.
At the least, thinking outside the box (or the house) a discussion with family, and a strategy session with a qualified financial professional on how to go about taking the right steps is warranted.
According to a July 2012 Center for Retirement Research at Boston College Report with information from the Federal Reserveâ€™s Survey of Consumer Finances, the average balance of a household with head (of household) age 55-64 in 401(k) & IRAs was $42,000 in 2010 which was lower than the $45,000 held in retirement plans back in 2004.
Thank goodness for Social Security otherwise most of us would be sunk. A select few are still eligible for defined benefit (pension) plans; the number of workers lucky enough to know what pensions are continues to decrease markedly since the early 1980â€™s.
At $82,000 the primary house represents an asset with cash-flow potential. And donâ€™t feel guilty: The kids prefer you consider your needs first.
Isnâ€™t that right?
Kids: The key to motivating parents to take action begins with you.
1). Spark a Dialogue. Granted – sounds obvious enough. In practice though, not easy. Conversations about legacies, estate plans, inheritances are difficult. Donâ€™t be afraid to enlist a â€œfire starter,â€ like your financial advisor if he or she is objective enough and possesses a semblance of EQ or emotional intelligence. Empathy and respect are important here.
At the least, kids should be willing to assist parents with the overwhelming tasks that go with the relocation process. Families just donâ€™t talk enough (or at all), about inheritance matters until forced to or a life event triggers it. Itâ€™s time for this conversation to begin as soon as possible. If only so the parents are aware of your preferences.
Grandchildren are surprisingly effective at easing the pain of regret even if their intent is limited to the excitement of spending time in a different environment or rolling toy trucks over carpet in a new location.
Recently, a grandmother of three shared with me how she decided to sell her large home and move to a more modest apartment in a suburban retirement community. She was remorseful even though the children were very communicative and supportive of the move. When her grandsonâ€™s face lit up at the feel of new carpet and a balcony and shared how excited overall he was about the new place, her remorse turned to joy. She was instantly relieved and satisfied with her decision.
2). Outright downsizing is an effective method to lower living costs. Why continue to remain in the smaller â€œhouse within the house,â€ situation especially if the children are willing to help?
On occasion, the death of a spouse or other life-changing episode can jump start actions. Itâ€™s best to contemplate â€œgoing smallerâ€, before forced to hit the code-red button.
So, sell the big house. Let it go. Based on recent reports, it appears to be an opportune time. Use the cash to purchase a smaller place in full (no mortgage if possible). Release the shackles of the material goods you havenâ€™t dusted in years and get them to a consignment shop. Better yet, open the door to gifting cherished items to the children while youâ€™re still alive.
Think seriously about renting. Why not? Yes, rental rates have increased in several markets so you should examine the tradeoff between buying and selling on a case-by-case basis. First, youâ€™ll need to gather information about the area youâ€™re looking to reside. For example, gaining a handle on annual home price changes vs. annual percentage of rent increases or decreases would be important. From there, one of the best calculators on the internet is available for free from the New York Times.
Keep the extra cash you would have used to purchase a residence (or at the least as a down payment) liquid in a low-cost, no-load mutual fund that invests in ultra-short bonds which will generate a small monthly addition to cash flow. And think about splurging on a nice vacation. After all, youâ€™re liquid now.
3). Consider a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage Saver. I understand the concerns about the closing costs and fees that go along with reverse mortgages, but hear me out.
Data released by the National Reverse Mortgage Lenders Association (NRMLA) shows senior home equity increased by $30 billion in the fourth quarter of 2011. Seniors have $3.22 trillion in home equity available according to the most recent NRMLA/Risk Span Reverse Mortgage Market Index (RMMI) report. Thatâ€™s unlocked potential you canâ€™t ignore if tapped strategically. Remember, you must be 62 years old to consider any reverse mortgage option.
Although youâ€™re limited by the amount you can borrow, the HECM Saver is more cost effective than a standard reverse mortgage option. For example, the HECM Saver has an upfront premium (cost) of .01 percent of your propertyâ€™s value compared to two percent for a standard reverse mortgage. Also, those who utilize the HECM Saver are limited to borrow roughly 10 to 18 percent less than for the Standard reverse mortgage.
Instead of withdrawing in the form of a lump-sum cash payout, itâ€™s best to retain a line of credit that can be used only when necessary. Work with a knowledgeable financial adviser who can assist you with establishing clear rules to trigger and monitor credit line usage. The decision should be based on a thorough examination of cash-flow needs, your overall portfolio mix and current market conditions. The goal is to have a readily available source of funds to draw from when warranted.
The debt associated with a reverse mortgage (or HECM Saver) must be paid in full when the borrower dies, moves out permanently, or elects to pay it off voluntarily. Any equity remaining belongs to the borrower or the borrowerâ€™s estate. If the debt exceeds the property value, the FHA (Federal Housing Association) bears the loss, not the borrower or the borrowerâ€™s estate.
One of my favorite websites designed to educate mortgage and reverse mortgage borrowers is The Mortgage Professor, operated by Jack M. Guttentag, Professor of Finance Emeritus at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. You can access, free of charge, a series of articles about reverse mortgages including Using a HECM to Strengthen Retirement Plans.
Use the recent, positive news about housing to get the thought process rolling.
Itâ€™s ok parents, really – the kids donâ€™t need your house. Have faith that the memories within will always be worth a small fortune to them no matter what.
And that is exactly what the kids want.
About the author: Richard Rosso has helped 165 families manage $230 million in a fee-based advised service for Charles Schwab, Inc. He appears extensively in various radio, television and print media in Houston, Tex. Heâ€™s been quoted in national publications such as USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, New York Magazine, The New York Times and Smart Money. He has contributed articles and written commentary to websites and periodicals including Yahoo! Finance, Houston Business Journal, Retirement Weekly, Gather.com, MarketWatch and CNBC.com.
He is the author of the upcoming book “Random Thoughts of a Money Muse,” a cutting-edge, pop-culture and sometimes funny look at money and the real story behind financial dogma.
A 20-year-old model embarking on an NFL career is doomed to fail if he does not have the right people around him. Family is not the right people, no matter how good or loving or well-intentioned they are.
I once asked former NFL coach Bill Parcells what his advice to players was regarding money. He was always meddling in their business, calling them into his office and giving advice too few listened to. What he told them was to bank that signing bonus for a year, live on only one game check, then after a year live on the interest from the bonus.
He said few players listened.
So many of these young kids have no financial sense and then are given these massive contracts and they simply don’t know how to handle themselves. Add to that the fact that there are lots of “experts” out there willing to “help” these young kids for a fee. It’s all a game, people.
All that work, sacrifice, beating the odds to make it to the professional level, and then you lose it all because of bad decisions.
I read this article about protecting your vital documents way back in June and just remembered it last night when I was going through my saved WSJ articles. I think it offers some helpful advice on backing up documents digitally.
1. Take inventory of all vital documents.
In one group, include crucial items such as car titles, wills, powers of attorney, life-insurance policies, medical directives, deeds, licenses, and pension and retirement-plan documents.
In another group, include items you probably will never need but might want to archive, such as old tax returns, brokerage statements and records of when you established individual retirement accounts.
2. Make copies of everything.
The most practical way to duplicate files nowadays is to scan them. It takes little more time than making photocopies, and will save you from ever needing to make or mail a copy again.
We bought a new HP printer less than a year ago. I have to say that the new technology makes scanning MUCH quicker than it used to be. Our printer (HP Officejet Pro 8600 Premium) was pricey but I’m sure there are cheaper printers that would do just as good of a job. The process is relatively pain-free.
3. Store electronically.
The author recommends storing documents on a cloud server via a service like Dropbox, Microsoft’s SkyDrive, Google’s Google Drive, or Apple’s iCloud. They recommend password-protecting files, which can be a pain. One other option is VaultWorthy, which uses encryption to store files. The service costs $12.95 a month and lets users store up to 50 documents on their servers. Kind of pricey but might be worth it.
Click on the graphic, which will take you to a WSJ landing page where you can enter your income and see where you rank in the whole “1%er scheme of things.” My wife and I have a long way to go before we are 1%ers.
I’ve been following your blog for several years now (you even wrote a blogpost about a question I wrote to you in 2009).
Anyway, I used to contribute to my Roth IRA regularly, but then stopped amid job transitions. I have a decent sized emergency fund set up, and recently decided to target 6 months expenses. I understand not having the entirety of an emergency fund set up in a Roth, since the value can actually go down when you might need it. I was just wondering what your take is on the blog post linked above?
Here are my thoughts:
First I would focus on getting 3 months’ worth of expenses socked away in a cash account for the bulk of the emergency fund. Then, I would invest through a Roth IRA and use it as a backup if necessary. So, I think the strategy has some merit. Yes, there is some risk involved due to volatility but if you already have 3 months saved up in cash, you may never need to take from the Roth.
The most important thing regarding emergency funds is to make sure you use it just for real emergencies (like the air conditioner goes out or for an insurance deductible). Too many people think new shoes are an emergency.