Thanks to all who contributed to Beth’s Fundraising efforts for the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention. She’s up to $965 or 64% of the way towards her goal of raising $1,500. There’s still time to help support Beth’s cause. Just visit her fundraising page and click on the box that says “Support Me.” Thanks for your support.

First off, thanks to those who helped Beth with a contribution towards her fundraising goal. Thanks to some big contributions (that had nothing to do with yesterday’s post), Beth is now 41% towards her goal. The bad news is that she’s stuck at $620. The good news is that you can still make a contribution if you so desire. Just visit Beth’s Fundraising Page and click on the “Support Me” icon.

NOTE: I don’t normally get involved with this kind of stuff but made an exception for a friend. Don’t worry, I won’t be harrassing AFM readers with all kinds of fundraisers. I promise.

I found out this morning that she is in the process of collecting donations for a walk she will be doing in September for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. She lost her husband in 2003 and has taken up the cause in hopes of preventing other tragedies. I think it’s a worthy cause.

I thought it would be cool if we could help her meet her goal of raising $1,500. As of this writing she has raised just under $400 so she has a ways to go in order to meet her goal.

To make this fun I thought I’d challenge AFM readers to help Beth meet her goal. I will contribute $50 today and another $50 in September IF we can get 51 people to give $20 (or 102 people to give $10) each towards Beth’s goal.

Will you help?

If so, please head over to Beth’s Fundraiser Page and make your $20 pledge. I’ll keep track of the balance and let you know of the progress until the goal is met.

Oh, and to put this in perspective…according to my blog stats, AFM has roughly 5,200 subscribers. Surely 51 of those readers can help out.

According to their website, the Shoes for Orphan Souls has given away 1.6 million pairs of shoes to orphan children here in the United States and throughout the world. That’s great but there are 143 million orphans in the world! The need is still great. You can either donate a new pair of shoes (or more if you so desire) to the program or donate cash to help with shipping expenses.

I learned about this program through my church.

I am assuming that the answer to that question is “yes,” but it seems very difficult to pinpoint the exact time or circumstance when that is the case. Surely it must depend on a number of factors such as:

• The “child’s” financial status
• The parents’ financial status
• The age of both parties
• The form of assistance (cash, gifts, time, labor, investments)
• The reason or motive behind the assistance.

On the other hand, perhaps the acceptability of receiving a parent’s generous offer is never truly extinguished. Otherwise we would have to turn down inheritances, life insurance proceeds and even gifts and educational funds for the grandkids.

There is one situation in my personal life which has brought this dilemma to my attention. I still accept financial assistance from my parents in one key area: they reimburse me for the cost of my flight whenever I fly home, which is usually twice a year (at Thanksgiving and Christmas) and averages around $350 per round trip flight.

There’s really no other time or circumstance during which they offer me money, but this offer has stood ever since I left for college. And they continue to offer every year despite the fact that I graduated several years ago and am perfectly capable of affording my own flight. Well, my mother continues to offer, I should say. I think it’s really her way of showing how excited she is that I’m coming to visit; in fact she always ends up offering in a moment of exuberance when I tell her when I plan to arrive – and/or when I casually mention how much flight prices have gone up.

I’m starting to feel a bit guilty about this. Reason One: I can easily afford to pay this expense now. Two: I spend at least that much every month on going out and other discretionary items. Three: I happen to know I have a higher salary than my mother (she’s a teacher and works mainly for fun and for the insurance benefits).

Of course I know they can easily afford it, or else I would never accept at all. But I think it’s time I stand up and say “no, mom, don’t worry about it” when she offers this year (which she’s already done once). Besides, I’m the oldest, and I should set an example for my three younger siblings. I shouldn’t be accepting this kind of “help” when I have a well-paying job and when they see me strolling in with a designer purse or other item I splurged on during the year.

HOWEVER, if my parents ever offer to set up education funds for my future children, instigate an annual financial gift for me and my siblings as part of an estate plan, or even take the whole family on a trip, I plan to graciously and happily accept.

More from Meg at The World of Wealth

I normally cut the person off fairly quickly and tell them that I’m not interested and hang up the phone. I know it probably sounds rude but I really don’t know what else to do. I figure they would rather find out sooner than later that they have no hope of success with me. In other words, I’m helping them move on to other potential donors.

As far as our giving goes, my wife and I tithe as well as give to several causes that we feel are important. We budget for these donations and have them paid automatically through our bank account. As a general rule, our budget doesn’t allow for extra giving (although maybe we should pencil in a small “spontaneous giving” fund).

My question to you is:

How do you say no to legitimate calls for help without feeling guilty?

Do you give to pretty much every charity that asks something of you or do you limit your giving to just a few charities?

Suddenly spending becomes a completely expected and justifiable occupation. All free time is consumed with spending money–BUYING decorations, BUYING gifts, BUYING special foods and drinks, BUYING cards and knick-knacks, BUYING travel, and BUYING any number of other things that you would hardly even glance twice at, much less spend your hard earned cash on, during any other month of the year.

Sure, most of us need, want, or have to spend more money than usual during November and December. And that’s OK to some extent–especially if you plan for it and can afford it. You might need to travel to see family and friends. You may want to send out Christmas cards, purchase gifts, or dole out bonuses to any number of people in your life. You may even be roped into spending events you’d rather avoid–like one too many Secret Santas or Christmas Ornament Exchanges at work, school, or church.

But much of our spending at this time of year is wasteful and can easily be avoided. Do you really need a professional photographer to take your Christmas card photo? Must you buy a gift for all 11 of your closest co-workers? Will your guests truly appreciate (or even notice) that $16 pecan pie–in addition to the four other pies you already bought for Thanksgiving dinner? Does your 2 yr old really need a dozen gifts? Must you buy yet another cocktail dress for this year’s Christmas party? Are you even looking at any of the prices during your two month long spending frenzy???

I’m not going to give the same old “set a gift budget and stick to it” advice. I find it difficult if not impossible to project what kind of things I might need to buy during this time of year. But here are a few ideas that might help you out:

1. Actually look at the price tag before you buy each and every thing for the rest of the year, whether you’re in the grocery store or a department store. Often there are substitutable items that cost half as much a few feet away. Choose them.
2. Avoid items marketed for the season (this includes anything that depicts bells, snow, Santa, reindeer, turkeys, pumpkins, angels, etc). You may be tempted by the glittery holiday candles at Nordstrom which are running $20-$40. But you can get regular red and green candles from Target for $5 each instead. And will your display suffer? I think not.
3. Don’t overspend on food. Have you ever been to a Thanksgiving or Christmas party that didn’t have at least as much food leftover as was eaten? Well, how about buying half as much in the first place? Also, if you’re willing to make substitutions (eat duck instead of Turkey, for instance) you can really save a bundle.
4. Buy fewer gifts. Sure it’s fun to see kids tear into a pile of gifts every year. But all that does is raise the bar for the number you have to buy next year. And guess what they end up looking forward to each year? Not seeing their extended amily or even getting out of school, and especially not remembering the reason for the season–it’s gifts. You’re wasting money and spoiling your kids in one swift motion.
5. Buy cheaper gifts. Here’s a secret: the gift wrapping is usually more important than the gift. Buy cheaper gifts and just wrap them up beautifully, especially when making purchases for kids and when buying things that no one will know the cost of. People will probably will abandon the gifts within a month anyway. Buy cheap!
6. Make compromises with family and friends. If you have a large family why not openly set limits on who buys gifts for whom or how many can be purchased? I bet everyone at work would appreciate being relieved of the usual gift exchange; suggest it! Explain to your kids that you’re giving smaller gifts this year so that you can afford to make bigger contributions to their college funds. Why not take the kids shopping for a family in need rather than for each other?

There are lots of ways to save money this season, and so many opportunities to do so. Look at this as the easiest time of year to save! And please leave a comment and share some of your Holiday savings tips.

More from Meg at The World of Wealth

Why is it so expensive?

Because that’s the only way Visa can make money off this card (unless they get fees from retailers who accept the card. Hmmm… I wonder about that.)

Anyway, if you don’t want to give a gift card from a specific retailer, then why not just give cash?

My wife and I USED to give on the spur of the moment. This year though, we actually budgeted for the entire year, giving a monthly amount to a couple of different charities that we respect. When someone calls to ask for money, I tell them that we have a budget for our giving and they normally leave us alone.

I LIKE IT!

I don’t feel guilty for not contributing to every charity that calls because we can’t possibly contribute to every cause, and we already budget for our giving. Now I just wish the charities we already give to would stop asking us for ADDITIONAL funds but that’s another blog topic.

To prevent otherwise financially self-sufficient individuals and families from entering the cycle of poverty, when this might be avoided with a small amount of well-timed financial assistance;

To restore the financial self-sufficiency of individuals who are willing to work but are temporarily unable to do so because they do not have the means to remit payment for a work-related expense; and

To empower permanently disadvantaged individuals who otherwise live within their limited means to continue to live independently, despite a temporary, unexpected financial set-back.

In keeping with its mission, Modest Needs offers the following three types of grants

Self-Sufficiency Grants

Modest Needs makes Self-Sufficiency Grants by remitting payment to a creditor / for an expense on behalf of an otherwise self-sufficient individual or family for a relatively small, emergency expense which the individual or family could not have anticipated or prepared for.

In making a Self-Sufficiency Grant, our goal is to prevent an otherwise self-sufficient individual or family from entering the cycle of poverty as a result of the financial burden posed by a relatively small emergency expense.

For example, we might make a Self-Sufficiency Grant to cover the cost of an emergency auto repair that must be made if an individual is to continue working.

Back-to-Work Grants

Modest Needs makes Back-to-Work grants by remitting payment for a small work-related fee or expense on behalf of a temporarily unemployed individual.

In making a Back-to-Work grant, our goal is to provide a willing but temporarily unemployed individual with the means to return to work.

For example, we might make a Back to Work grant to cover the cost of a professional license renewal for a temporarily displaced worker.

Independent Living Grants

Modest Needs makes Independent Living Grants by remitting payment to a creditor / for an expense on behalf of persons who are permanently unable to work but who nevertheless are living independently on the limited income to which they are entitled – their retirement income, or their permanent disability income, for example.

In making an Independent Living Grant, our goal is to empower financially responsible persons who cannot work to continue to live independently on their limited incomes, despite an unexpected expense which no conventional agency is prepared to address.

For example, we might make an Independent Living Grant to cover the cost of maintenance on a piece of accessibility equipment not covered by Medicaid, to cover an unexpectedly large prescription medication co-pay, or to assist with a large summer cooling bill.

Modest Needs is not meant to be a long-term solution, but if it helps keep a person from getting sucked in by those payday loan companies, I’m ALL FOR IT! I checked out their financials and like what saw. That’s why I have put a banner for Modest Needs in a prominent position on AllFinancialMatters. So, if you’re feeling generous, consider clicking on over to ModestNeeds.org and making a donation.