“THIS IS LIFE ALERT! YOU HAVE BEEN DETECTED. LEAVE NOW!”

Can you imagine all the ways this technology could be misused???

“THIS IS LIFE ALERT! YOU ARE NOT MR. JOHNSON. PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON AND LEAVE NOW!”

“THIS IS LIFE ALERT! YOUR MOM SAID NO COOKIES IN THE LIVING ROOM! PUT THEM UP NOW!”

“THIS IS LIFE ALERT! THAT IS YOUR THIRD BEER! MAKE IT YOUR LAST ONE!”

“THIS IS LIFE ALERT! I THINK THAT’S ENOUGH POTATO CHIPS! PUT THEM UP…NOW!”

Okay, enough already.

Enjoy your weekend. This will probably be my last post until Monday. We are taking the kids to the water park tomorrow.

Several weeks ago I was standing in the business section of my local bookstore. I glanced up just as a woman walked by. I went back to looking at the books. A couple of seconds later I see someone coming down aisle. I look up to see that it is the woman who just walked by. I keep looking and finally she asks, “What are you looking for?”

“Ah, I’m just browsing while I wait,” I replied.

“Oh, I’m currently reading Dale Carnegie’s ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People,’” she told me.

“That’s funny,” I said. “I was just re-reading that book the other day. In fact it’s sitting on my nightstand right now.”

Well, it took of all of five more seconds before she launched into her into spiel about how she worked with people to help them reach their goals and stuff—standard multi-level marketing b.s. I told her that I had heard of her company (Primerica) and had actually attended A.L. Williams (which was the early Primerica) meetings when I was a kid.

Once she found out that I wasn’t interested in her company, the conversation dwindled down to nothing and I left.

Anyway, I must visit bookstores too often because this has happened to me more than once.

Do you have any multi-level marketing stories to tell? I’d like to hear them.

IRS: We Don’t Care How You Get it. Just be Sure and Report it.

Anyway, one of the commercials actually states, “…restaurant-quality pasta.”

What does “restaurant-quality pasta” mean? Isn’t Pizza Hut a restaurant? What does this say about Pizza Hut? To me it says, “We know our food usually sucks but this pasta is really good. It tastes just like restaurant food.”

I’d like to meet the marketing guru who came up with that one!

Oh, and by-the-way, I tried the pasta and it isn’t that great. I found it more “frozen-food quality.”

I got this email from my sister-in-law this afternoon and thought I’d share it with you because I thought it was pretty funny. Enjoy!

My son (I won’t name him but I will say he’s my youngest son) tried to make some Kraft EasyMac without water. Here’s how it turned out:

I was sitting at the table and all the sudden I started smelling a burnt smell. The microwave was filled with smoke and made a lovely aroma that filled the entire house. From now on he’ll be stuck making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. No more “Easy Mac” for him. It’s not good for him anyway. LOL!

Oh, and I’m looking for a lawyer so that I can sue Kraft Foods. It’s all their fault since they didn’t explicitly state that cooking the noodles without water would fill the house with putrid smoke!

“It’s just gotten out of hand,” said 53-year-old Yvonne Brune of Des Moines, Iowa, referring to the rising cost of gasoline. Because of higher gasoline prices, Ms. Brune, who works for a printing company doing marketing on weekdays and separately as a bridal consultant on nights and weekends, no longer makes the drive home at lunchtime — a 30-mile round trip — to spend time with her dogs. Because of rising airfares, she has canceled plans for a trip to Texas to visit relatives. “I think the airlines are going to see their industry implode because people are going to stop flying,” she said.

The article doesn’t mention what kind of car this lady drives but it doesn’t matter. Driving 30 extra miles a day (150 miles per week, 7,500 per year) is silly. If she got 30 miles per gallon, she’d be using up 5 gallons a week or 250 per year. Why can’t she spend time with her dogs when she gets home in the evening?

Maybe high gas prices are a good thing if it will keep people from doing stupid stuff! LOL!

Just a little humor for your Tuesday afternoon.

A side note: Herman is one of my favorite comics. It’s weird how things pop to make you think about someone. Last night I was reading through the free 30-day Herman archive and laughing and crying at the same time. Why? Because my dad, who was also a Herman fan, and I used to laugh about them all the time. I really miss the fact that I can’t just call him up and tell him stupid jokes and talk about money and stuff.

Personal finance expert A. K. suggests putting as much as you can into your retirement plan. K., who is also the founder of SomeWebsite.com advises to put everything you can into these plans, whether an IRA, 401(k), 403(b) or other tax-advantaged retirement vehicle.

Here are some of the benefits:

You get a tax deduction today, which means an instant rate of return at your effective tax rate. So taxed at rate of 20% for example, you actually get a 20% return just for investing in your future.

Your money grows tax-advantaged. Whether you use a Traditional IRA or a Roth IRA, your money is growing and you are not paying taxes. So every dollar earned you get your effective rate REINVESTED and it compounds instead of paying that money to Uncle Sam.

If you are in a retirement plan with a match (like a 401k) then every “matched” dollar equals 100% return, before you invest.

Many of these plans are automatic and are not high maintenance on your part, K. explains. Just make sure you rebalance your portfolio and review your investment strategy at least once a year.

“Who is the ideal candidate? Anyone with earned income,” K. says.

I don’t know about you but I found this kind of humorous. I don’t know a PF blogger out there who doesn’t already know this stuff. If I were A. K., I think I would have a talk with his PR person to see if they couldn’t come up with a little more intriguing PR campaign.