Archives For Humor

AFM reader, Anna, posted a link to this quote from Shaquille O’Neal’s book Shaq Uncut: My Story* yesterday in a comment. I thought it was worth sharing because it made me laugh:

NOTE: “Lester” is Shaq’s accountant.

One of the things I invested in when I first got to Orlando was some coin-operated car washes. We were doing really well, making a lot of money, but one day Lester called me up and told me the numbers weren’t matching up. The profits we should have had were not the same numbers that were being deposited in the bank.

“Don’t worry, Lester,” I told him, but he was freaking out about it. He even flew to Orlando to discuss it with me. He calculated we were missing almost a quarter million dollars.

It took me awhile, but I finally came clean with him, I showed Lester my bedroom, where there was a whole bunch of wooden rain barrels full of quarters.

Lester said, “Shaquille, what the hell is this? Is this the missing money?”

“Yes”, I admitted. “Lester, I can’t help it. I like seeing my money. Come here, run your fingers through all these quarters. It’s awesome.”

Love it.

*Affiliate link

Jeremy posted this on facebook and I had to share it with you:

Is it any wonder why people are poor?

Oh, and by the way…

I don’t think the iPhone 5 is much better than the iPhone 4s, which wasn’t much better than the iPhone 4.

Friday Humor: Bain Capital

August 31, 2012

Bain Capital

My boys and their friends shot this video on their way to church camp as a way to pass the time. My youngest son starts it off and my oldest son is to his left (our right). Clowns…

Only One Mug of Coffee Per Day

The $50 Lesson

August 22, 2012

WARNING: The following is political in nature. You have been warned!

A friend sent this to me and I thought it was worth sharing.

THE $50 LESSON

Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog.

During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be President someday.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?”

She replied… “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”
Her parents beamed with pride!

“Wow…what a worthy goal!” I said. “But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that!” I told her.

“What do you mean?” she replied.

So I told her, “You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge and I’ll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.”

She thought that over for a few seconds, and then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”

Her parents aren’t speaking to me now.

I would love to hear this as a response during a presidential debate:

Laugh, people. It will keep us from going crazy.